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For the past few weeks I’ve been thinking about a post about dads I wanted to write, closer to Father’s Day. I didn’t give much thought to something similar about moms or Mothers Day. This day is a mixture of emotions. My infertility junk is balanced with the amazing women I have/had in my life (see below 💛). But to be honest, I wanted to wallow in this day. In pity, sadness and unfairness. Just me. I didn’t want anyone else’s pity. I didn’t want to bring anyone down or drag them into my mess. I just wanted to sit in it. And cry some. Maybe involve some teary ice cream for good measure. But then I hear that still small voice, lovingly pushing through the sadness. Reminding me of promises I’m holding on to, along with so much grace and mercy I don’t deserve. And it’s hard to sit in pity, without praise for the things God has done and the things to come. This is a challenging, bumpy road, one I wouldn’t want for anyone, but the ending is promised to be far greater than anything I imagine I don’t have.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 💛 My relationship with my mom had always felt complicated, and it wasn’t until about 6-7 years ago that I felt real forgiveness (thank you Jesus!) for all the missing years.

It’s not how it should have been, brokenness never is.

I know it wasn’t easy for her and I appreciate the cost that came with the missing. Now, I wish we didn’t live an ocean apart, but I love our time spent talking and catching up. I’m grateful for the relationship we have today. 💛 I’ve written about this before, but my grandmother was the closest thing to a mom I had growing up and I am forever grateful for the love she poured into me. There isn’t much I wouldn’t give up for a chance to hug her again. 💛 My aunt is the very best example I have on being an incredible mother. Seeing her raise my cousins set a precedent that I didn’t know I needed as a kid. Watching that kind of mothering, and being a part of it some, changed the way I saw a mother/child relationship, made it a healthier one, even if I didn’t understand it until I was an adult. 💛 I hit the mother-in-law jackpot. (or mother-in-love, something she says that I think is the sweetest!). I did not grow up with her, but if you’ve met any of her children you would know she has to be amazing. She raised my husband, and if you know him, there aren’t enough thanks in the world for that blessing. She allowed me, a stranger, to live with her so Jason and I could see if our relationship could work, and in that time she made me feel like a daughter before it was ever official. 💛 Laura would probably shrug her shoulders at the mention of her being a spiritual mama. I hadn’t been in Wichita long when she was suggested to be my discipler/mentor. I remember being hesitant, but I am sure glad that God knew what I needed. She’s been a listening ear, encourager, prayer warrior and master hugger. I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t love her immediately! I am blessed beyond measure for all of them, and for the rest of my family and friends. Even at my worst, I’ve never felt a shortage of love and support.